Smiles, Tears, Fears and Laughter from our Jacked Up Jungle.

It's time for me to get real...

2009-10-11T16:25:00.001-07:00

with myself before I explode into a million tiny little pieces. I am angry, pissed off, mad, wanna scream and run far far away and not come back for awhile. If I thought there was somewhere that I could go and no one would find me, I would already be gone. No this doesn't mean that I don't love my child, my family or friends. If you think that by only reading thus far, click the big red X at the top of the screen. I don't need your ridicule. It means that I need a break, a break from stress, life, reality, whatever it may be. The last year has been a nightmare, literally. From Tay's surgery in January, dealing with a tornado, loss of my car, Tay being abused by the friggin babysitter, My less than mediocre medical issues, Connor's 4 wheeler accident, my best friend's blood clots and now all of this. (That just hits the high points) I would like to turn the page and never look back. And no, this isn't a poor me, give me lots of sympathy blog either. I just need to vent. But so far my luck hasn't changed any, for instance a friend and I bought our first Arkansas lotto tickets today, did we win one red cent? Hell no, we lost 7 bucks!

Last weekend, I was in Dallas supposed to having the time of my life and celebrating my 30th birthday. I'll just say that it was an awful weekend, I pray that I forget it all. On Saturday afternoon while taking a nap in our plush hotel room, my phone rings, it's the Baby Daddy who currently had my daughter, yes my, at the time. Tay had managed to somehow get her ankle squished, yes squished is the only proper word that I can come up with right now, by another child on the teeter totter. He said, "I think it's broke!" Me, thinking to myself, sure it is, you don't know broke from a hole in the ground, nor do you know her allergy list or the daily meds she takes, but now your telling me that her foot is broke. I said, send me a picture. He did alright, and for once in his life, he was right. It's so broke they sent her to Children's Hospital in LR. He tells me calm down, Ronda, I was only 10 feet away washing the car and said girlfriend was very close by. Really? Then how the fuck did this happen? My 8 year old daughter has a fractured growth plate in her left ankle and a sheared tibia and your telling me to calm down. Sure I won't! I'm stuck in Dallas trying to get a flight to LR because they think she is going to have surgery. I'm willing to spend my savings on a flight to LR because I am the strong one, not him. Out of the 5 surgeries she has had, he has been to 2. Not a very good ratio there. Needless to say, they couldn't do surgery because her ankle was too swollen and inflammed to do anything yet. They send her home to let the swelling go down. I cancel my flight. And we leave first thing the next morning on the way home.

Tay gets home and of course I ask her what happened? She said daddy was across the street at the car wash washing the car(not 10 feet away) and live-in girlfriend was across the creek smoking and doing her homework. So who exactly was watching you and who saw this happen? A ten year old, thats who. I guess thats who is now responsible for my daughter. Yes, I know accidents happen, and sometimes they can't be prevented, but for NO ADULT to have even come close to witnessing this just really makes me wanna rip heads off. Thus far, my daughter has had to have zero surgeries because of my negligence. Her fathers actions really shouldn't surprise me by now, but somehow I have let him get to me on this one. So I take her to my OP on Tuesday and she is scheduled for surgery on Wednesday to put pins in it to put it back together. Oh and did I mention that she has to have another surgery to have them removed in 3-6 months? So her father called wanting to know all of this information. I told him and asked if he was coming to her surgery? He says, well, 11:00 is early, and I don't think I can make it on time.

Me: so get your ass outta bed a little earlier and be there. Him: Well, I really don't have the gas money. Me: Well then come and watch her Thursday and Friday since you have so much PTO saved up, so I can work. Him: I really don't have the gas money. Me: Are you friggin kiddin me? Your daughter is having her 6th surgery and once again, your not coming? I'd be ashamed to admit that! Him: Besides said girlfriend is having outpatient surgery on Friday. Me: Oh, I get it, you can go to her surgery, but you can't come to your own flesh and blood's surgery. Oh, now I totally understand. NOT!

So yes, I am angry that I am the one to always pick up the pieces, the one that pays for EVERYTHING. I am the one who paid the specialist co-pay on Tuesday, the surgical co-pay, the gas to and from FS 2x this week, the one that went and bought stretchy pants to get over her cast, and bought Tay whatever she wanted to eat those days because she was going through hell. I am the one who has to lay on top of her when she's trying to wake up from anesthesia, with the ear-piercing, gut-wrenching scream that is radiating from her tonsils while she's trying to rip out her IV. I am the one that carried her to the car and fought with her while trying to drive home until she finally passed out. I am the one that has to wrap her leg every night and bathe her by hand. I am the one that answers her over 50x a day, and takes care of her and have given up by bed to share with her just in case she wakes up in the middle of the night and needs me. And where is her father? Thats a damn good question? We haven't even heard from him in a couple days. Someone please make me understand, because I can't even begin to fathom it. Yes, I am tired, worn out and frustrated.

I am also angry that I am letting a man play with my emotions and toy with my heart. I am angry that my best friend has blood clots and has been chair bound for over a month now. I am torn about my medical issues that I put off to make my child the priority. I am angry that "what if" I have to have another major surgery and I have no time off left. I am angry about my finances, because of all the extra cost my savings has been depleted. What if I don't have enough money to make it till tax time? I am angry that no one seems to understand. Perhaps someone in bloggy land will possibly know where I am coming from. I am angry that all this shit has happened this year and there's not a damn thing that I can do about it. I am tired of putting on that fake smile for everyone and acting like everything is ok, perhaps it will get that way, but right now, I do not feel ok. No, I'm not gonna down a bottle of pills or do anything drastic. I may go outside and scream at the top of my lungs or howl at the moon, I'm not sure which, even If I do both, what would it hurt?

"Satan's Spawn"

2009-07-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

Yes, in my case, that would be "AT&T"...and they are currently at my disposal right now! I have indeed waged war with them! And you ask, why? Let me tell you, please!!

My bill was due on July 7th, and I paid $151.48, and put $53.47 in claims, because they couldn't tell me where those charges came from. They told me that someone would call me back, but alas, never did. So I think that everything is hunky doory, right? Then wham, on Saturday, my cell phone isn't working, but my home phone and my DSL are? WTH? Did I mention that I went out of town to the lake all weekend and that Tay is in Branson with her father and they have no way of contacting me and vice versa?? So Saturday I couldn't get in touch with AT&T customer service, go figure! Sunday comes along and I am able to get ahold of someone and they said this.."I can't seem to figure out why your mobile has been suspended, you don't have any late charges or late fees?" "Hmm, but I can't turn your phone back on, because I don't know why they turned it off in the first place." Someone please explain this mumbo jumbo to me, cause it sure ain't making sense!! So me, desperate to have connection with my daughter said, so If I pay the bill that isn't even due till 8/7, will that turn on my phone? She says, Oh, yes ma'am, so I pay the blankety blank thing...no cell phone ever got turned back on.

So today is Monday, still no cell service, I'm seeing RED DAGERS!! I called them at precisely 8 am, and just now got off the phone. Heidi, the sweet girl that she is, had to turn it back on, but of course I wanted upper management to handle my rage. So luckily I got 2 very understanding gals on the phone, oh but I did mention that I was about to go postal and tell them to stick all 3 of my AT&T services where the sun doesn't shine(this is the rated version).

Apparently, that person back on 7/7 didn't actually put those charges in claims, so they turned my phone off over 50 smackers. Yes, 50 smackers!! Craziness, huh? So now they are trying to make me a "very satisfied customer"... I told them, I guess 6 years of paying bills on time does nothing for ones account. If your willing to turn it off over such a petty amount, then perhaps I do need to go elsewhere. So they are trying to make me a happy customer, this gal is supposed to call me back when she gets all my credits done. Think she really will??

Oh yeah?

2009-07-20T19:56:00.000-07:00

O about 6-8 weeks ago, I got a new do...here's the curly version from the lake on Saturday...

I have a complaint...

2009-07-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

Tay has been in about the same size for almost 2 years now, so I guess it's time, but geez louise, overnight, she has blossomed, literally. She is still technically 7 years young for another 2 months, so I am totally not ready for all this changing.

We are having a big yard sale in a few weeks, so I wanted her to try on some stuff so I knew what to put in and what not to put in. I'll just say that anything and everything she was wearing 6 weeks ago, she can't even get buttoned or furthermore over her hips. Oh, and she has buds, yes, Those Kind of BUDS!! Dude, she's 7, not 12. For the love of my sanity, can we not prolong this for at least a few more years?? She has officially started wearing a, Nope, I can't say it, I just can't. So alas, she gets a whole new wardrobe, I thought that crap only happened to me!!

The last 6 months or so, she has developed a love of high heels, any kind, any color, just high heels. I bet she has 5 pair of them already, oh, and she's wearing a womens size 5-6 shoe!! So the other day I walk past her room, she has the radio blaring, she is wearing high heels, daisy dukes and a tank top, and she is parading around the pole on her bed(4 poster bed)!! I stopped in my tracks, and said, " What exactly are you doing, child?" She just laughed at me and smiled! I said, you are not a stripper and never will be!! Stop it now!! Where is she seeing this crap?? It's official, I am putting a brick on her head as soon as she comes home from Branson!!

This one's for you, Krissi!!

2009-07-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

Since I haven't posted in a week or two, ok, more like a few months, and SOMEONE who will remain anonymous brought it to my attention, here goes nothing. I'm not sure where to even start, so I will start with the most recent.

Tay went to her daddy's on Friday for a whole week, so I took advantage of this and decided to go hang out with a friend in Little Rock. We decide to go eat at this Irish Pub where someone recommended I try the "drunken irish nurse"..go figure! I'll just say that either I have turned into the biggest weeny on the face of the earth or that was the strongest drink I have quite possibly ever had. One drink and I passed it on to my friend, and he drank it. Much to his surprise, an hour or so later, we are making a mad dash back to his house because he is SICK!! So glad I didn't finish the drink!! So much for our fun-filled evening!!

So after breakfast and shopping on Saturday, we load up and go to the lake house in Hot Springs, and spend the rest of the afternoon on the boat, catching some rays. What bliss! We decide to go out to Rolando's for dinner with some awesome people and sit on the patio, more like a veranda which is halfway up the mountain overlooking Hot Springs, did I mention way cool, the service sucked, but the food was awesome! What a combo, eh?

We attempted to take the boat out Sunday for a bit, but the weather was not cooperating..GRRRR!! So now I'm all back to reality, and working on the house. I'll just say the few days away was a very much needed mini vacay!! Now it's time to plan a bigger one!! Ideas, anyone?

"Last Musical of 2nd grade"

2009-05-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

I stay behind these days, so what's new? Sue me, ha! I assure you that I couldn't give you my house or any other on the block right now! So laugh, you know you wanna! Anyways, Tay had her End of the Year Musical last week. It was adorable. I think it just hit me that *my baby* is going be in the 3rd grade in a few short months. Ok, I officially feel old now! So here she is! This is just one of the songs they did! For those of you don't know, she is on the top row with the bow in her hair!

Manic Monday

2009-05-25T21:31:00.000-07:00

This coming Thursday will mark the seven week anniversary since Big Bertha came and destroyed our town. Since then, I, we, have all been working our little tushies off in the hopes to ever get all the cleanup done. My floors have been black for almost 7 weeks, and I mean black. But there was no need to clean them or attempt to clean them until the contractors got all done with the inside, right? So now, the inside is ALMOST officially done. We just need some trim and window sills to make it complete. Oh, and to have all my new furniture delivered. So since I am officially on vacation, I have been scrubbing the hell outta my floors for 2 days now, to the point that my hands, fingers, wrists, and upper arms actually hurt. Thats some serious scrubbin people! And what a way to spend your vacation, huh? Needless to say, I have been scrubbin gfor 2 days, and have went through like 8 Magic Erasers and think I need to buy stock in them now, cause they are new best friend and worst enemy all in one. 2 days and not even halfway done. Did I mention that I am sick of scrubbing?? Here are some pics...but they are last weeks pics. I still need to dl this weeks pics.

"Buh Bye Taylor Swift"

2009-05-10T19:43:00.000-07:00

It must be in the air, the water, the something, cause my daughter and I are not geeing and hawing lately. Yes, I admit, my patience level is numero zilcho, with all the stress that I have been under. However, with that being said, she will not mind, she has been whiny like crazy, and my official house rule is (This is a whine free zone)!! She glares at me with these awful looks, and she argues like crazy. So today, I had no other choice, I took away her beloved Taylor Swift tickets. I bought 4 of them for her b-day in September, that's all she talks about. Today I told her that I bet I could find some other girls that would love to go with me, because she has officially forfeited them due to her nasty behavior. Did she cry, fuss, whine? No, she just looked at me, like ok, whatever! She so wasn't even phased. I told her that if she wanted them back, she would have to earn them back with good behavior. She asked what that entailed? I explained that for starters, minding, not whining, acting like a good little princess, and doing what I asked her would help her to get them back. Her response, Oh...

So we shall see how long it takes to phase her or when the next time is that she asks about them? Anybody wanna place a wager?

No Party Here...

2009-05-08T20:34:00.001-07:00

That should tell ya all you need to know...so needless to say, I officially joined the crazy club yesterday. This should be interesting.

One Down, One to Go...

2009-05-06T17:04:00.000-07:00

So far, so good on that good news week that I have been hoping and praying for! Got good news on one of them today, now if I can get so lucky on the next one, I'm gonna have a party and celebrate? Whose with me here??

I'm on a Roll...

2009-05-05T19:00:00.000-07:00

Umm, that's because my daughter passed out on the couch before seven o'clock and I am spending my first night all alone since BB surrounded by my little flat-screened friend! So seriously, besides all the chaos from "Big Bertha", I have some health related issues that I will be getting results back on this week, not one, but two. So those of you that say prayers, throw up your graces, whatever it may be, if you'll keep me in mind, I would greatly appreciate it. There has never been a better time for this phrase in my life, "When it rains, it pours!" But I'm trying to think positive through it all, and I am determined to make it a "good news" week!

Big Bertha Came to Town...

2009-05-05T18:30:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad that she didn't stay long, because she left a helluva path of destruction in the mere minutes that she was here!!

Because I have so much time on my hands these days, and it's my 50th Post, I might as well make it count. So here goes nothing.

Back on 4/9/09 @ 8:08 pm, Big Bertha came to town and left it looking like a war zone, so alot of us Mena folks are still trying to put our lives back together, thus the whole lack of time theme. I do have to say that through it all and seeing the outpouring of love, compassion and willingness to help now makes me stand a little taller and smile a little bigger when calling it home. As one house on the next street over said, "Katrina, Mena takes care of it's own!!" And that it did and is still continuing to do. Here's a few pics for you to see. These first few are my house and car, then the others are my first and second neighbors. No matter how many pics I post, It just doesn't quite seem to do it justice...

Grab my Butt...

2009-05-05T18:26:00.000-07:00

Oh, I mean Button!! There was a little mishap down the street at Sara's house, but everything seems to be working now, so go ahead, you know you wanna, go grab my button! I'm not real convinced that any of you have it in the first place, but there's always a first time for everything, right? Oh, ok, I hear ya loud and clear, "You say, but you don't have my button." And my classic response to that is, if I could figure out how and where to make that Butt-on work, I sure as hell would. But these days, I barely have time to keep up with my own butt-on. Oh yeah, post on that later, I'm only a month behind, that's what tornados do for ya!!

Spring Pics by OsByKy

2009-04-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

Here are some more of the new Spring Pics taken a few weeks ago...I'm lovin them! Leave sum luv!!

I've lost my marbles...

2009-04-05T18:44:00.000-07:00

Not that I ever had them, right? Yesterday, we had another girlie get-together, a mommy-daughter one. We had a good time, (I managed to snap no pics whatsoever) and I agreed to keep all the daughters at my house for the night. Yes, four girls, all ages 6 & 7. It was like having quadruplets! So I was able to entertain them and we ended up going out for ice cream at Baskin Robbins. On the way, it was like riding with teenagers, they had the windows rolled down, the music blaring and they fought over who was gonna ride shotgun! I had to tell them to get their heads in the car and to quit waving at boys, yes, boys! But not just any boys, boys that are much older than them! We were able to make it there and back safely but I was truly beginning to wonder...I refuse to think about the next 10 years of their life if this is what it entails, and I have a feeling, it's going to get worse, much, much worse....I'm thinking that the 25 foot electric fence around the house is sounding better every day!!

Courtesy of "One Shot"...

2009-04-05T18:33:00.001-07:00

Kyleen, my nursey friend that also has her own photography studio "One Shot" honored us with a free photo shoot, courtesy of me referring her some new clients. Yay! So today was our lucky day and she is editing them as we speak. However, this is the part that I hate, the waiting game, I'm not good at this part, and she knows this, so she teased me with yes, one pic....

Of course, more to come, as I receive them....She only took 479, perhaps there will be a few good ones??

Just When I Thought....

2009-03-31T19:10:00.000-07:00

I had been through it all....I meet another crazy psycho boy and I mean that literally. I promise that I can't possibly make this crap up! So listen to this...

Start talking to this guy online on Friday. He wants me to come meet him on Friday night, I don't even think so! So I was in Little Rock on Saturday and stayed over at a friend's house and agreed to have breakfast with him on Sunday. Bad, Very Bad Idea!!

Bad first impressions are usually just that, BAD! But I am trying to be nice and give this guy a chance. We go to the mall and he's texting me while I am in the dressing room telling me how beautiful I am, and that he hated shopping with his ex-wife but he's already doing it with me. I looked out the top of the dressing room, and what is he doing, but blowing me kisses!! You've got to be kidding me! Within a few hours, I'm ready to go get Tay and head for the hills!

On my way home from breakfast with the psycho, these are the texts I am getting...

~Are you dead set on living in Mena forever? Cause ya know its really hard to work on a relationship from 3 hours away? (Relationship, please tell me that I missed something somewhere or got hit in the head and this is all a dream)...

~You are everything I am looking for in a woman. You have all the qualities I want and more.
(Thanks, I already know all of this)...

~When do you want to meet my daughter? (Dude, your not ever meeting mine, so good luck with that)...

~When I first saw you, I thought I must be dreamin...(Yes, you were, so let me wake up, please)

~I care about you like any one human man would for a young beautiful woman like you are. Yes, Maybe a little more that I should, but that's just me. (You have known me for a total of 6 hours, how can you possibly CARE for me?)

~Would you like me to come there one weekend? (Not no, but hell no, and I plan on moving before you can ever find me!!)

~Does it bother you that I text and call alot? (Yes, it really does, so would you please just go away already)..

~I really hope things grow with us...(Yeah, you can keep that love fern, I hope it dies)...

~I would be around as long as you would let me...(Hmm, well, that's not very long, now is it?)

~I have been talking about you! (Oh boy, this just thrills my soul)...

~So how do you want to proceed? (With caution, red flags on going off like ticking time bombs around here)...

I kid you not, no goodbye kiss, nothing and these are the texts I received after leaving Little Rock. When I got home, he had emailed me a "love poem" telling us how we were to be together. All I could say, was Holy Shit Batman...your not serious, right?

I wrote him a novel back telling him how I was not needy, clingy or desperate for any man or any relationship. Long story short, after 2 days, he still didn't get the hint. So tonight, he Im's, and I tell him to delete my number and to forget that he ever met me!! Think it will work!! Keep your fingers crossed, cause I am!

Do any of you know where I can get some special cleanser to remove the "idiot/psycho/jerk magnet from my forehead?"

Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus...

2009-03-27T14:57:00.000-07:00

Yup, you guys, it's official. I have officially given up trying to read their minds, figure them out, or even give a damn. In the last week, the different encounters, conversations, texts, etc with the men in my life absolutely blow me away. I can't even begin to fathom or much less understand. Anyone wanna jump out on a ledge here and help a woman out?

First there's Bob, we'll call him that at least. Bob's situation is possibly the most intriguing of all. I will never ever understand him. I really like him and I really should hate him, that's my stupid pathetic idiotic problem. He's the one that makes my eyes light up when I see him and will run over someone to answer the phone when he calls. But Bob is stupid and needs to make some decisions about his life. Ok, so maybe he did, and they pissed me off, so that's the reason for this lil bloggy today. I'm the one that needs to make some decisions here, and I tried, I really tried, when he called the last time, to tell him, Good-bye, See Ya Never Again...but I couldn't do it, just couldn't do it. So sue me!

Then there's Texas, well, thats what we'll call him today. He's the old stand-by that is always there for me, listens to my whining, my rambling, and gives into my requests, whatever they may be. His situation is different because, well, he doesn't know what he wants in life, and he's well a tad bit different. Not different, like you and me different, he's special, special ed, alright! I've decided that he must really love me to put up with my crap, but I gave up on him long ago because he just doesn't know what he wants. He's just truly my friend that everyone says I will end up with. And that my dear is where I have a problem, because there's a few things that we heavily disagree on!

Then there's Courtesy Flush...my, oh my..what a name. Ok, ok, that's what I named him cause that's what I did, ker-plunk! He's a nice guy or so I think, and seems really interested at times, and other times, seems very uninterested. Hot and Cold shall we say. Last week, I sent him a courtesy flush, and told him that I wanted to get to know him, but that he wasn't allowing it. Blah, blah. Haven't heard a word since the ker-plunk. So today, what happens? I'm sleeping...soundly and I hear this..."I've got 2 guns and one for each of ya" which is code for my text message going off. I raise up and think "who the hell is texting me at 8:30 am on my day off? Oh, it's you, joy, oh boy. To no avail, no plans have been set. Imagine that. EEIIGGHHH! We've been on one date and I haven't decided whether it was one date too many or one date too few...

Then there's B...he calls and texts, drunk dials me, and I'm so stupid that I answer, cause well, yes, I sleep with my phone on my nightstand, cause you never know who's calling and what they want. Refer back to "Bob"..But will he ever get up the nerve to ask me out on an actual date. Say it ain't so, cause it ain't happening! We've never went out, just talk and text...must be a man's fave thing to do..HA!

Ok, so is that enough weirdness for one day? I could sooo go on...but I won't continue to bore you with my jacked up jungle of a life! Advice? Ok, take it easy on me, will ya?

I win...

2009-03-12T17:54:00.000-07:00

So about this wager...I win, I win, Yay, I win.

So I'm sitting at my desk this morning, totally dazed and confused...the phone rings, guess who? Yup, that person that I thought was out of my life forever, the same one whom I want to beat the dogsnot out of...and well, he showed up and I got my chance and I did it, and I lived to tell the tale. He took it like a man, and I put in more than few good punches. He now has bruises, as awful as it sounds, I don't feel bad about it, because he deserved every bit of it and more. I told him just what I thought of him...and it wasn't nice either. I've never done anything like that before. Some of you know the real story of why, and I'll leave it at that. I'm not exactly proud of this, but I was the victim here.

After I beat the dogsnot outta him, he broke down and told me all kinds of things and cried, I don't mean like teared up, I mean he cried. (Do you know how many men I have ever seen cry)(Not very many, cause their macho and it's not their thing, he's beyond macho, so to see this, was well, disturbing to say the least) Then I felt bad, because obviously he hasn't had a good life, and I actually believe that part of it. So no matter how much I hate him for what he did to me, I can't deny the absolute fun and laughs we have shared. After I had screamed at him and hit him for 2 hours....we had this conversation.....I know, yes, indeedy I have lost my friggin mind, and I don't need you to tell me that, k, this is my blog, my life, if you don't like it, click the big red X at the top. I assure you it won't bother me at all.

Me: "I know what you need, you need a friend."

Him: "Yes, I do, but I don't deserve you as a friend, after what I have done. "

Me: "No, you really don't, but I am going to step out on a limb here and be your friend because I think you need that more than anything."

Him: Tears falling....

Him: "You would be my friend, and let me talk to you about anything, and really be my friend and not hate me?"

Me: *BIG SIGH*, Yes, I will. Despite everything I know to be true, Yes, I will.

*Sighing* How do I get myself into these situations? Don't answer that!

My life is truly a jacked up jungle....

2009-03-11T19:20:00.000-07:00

and that's putting it mildy.....I can't go into alot of detail, but words cannot describe the emotions and rage I am feeling right now towards someone who has lied to me in more ways than one can possibly describe. This would include life-altering lies and deceit, but underneath all the rage and hurt, I feel sad for them, that they have to live like that. There should be more to life than that, and now they know that there is...

I threatened to kick their ass and told them to come to my house right now, so I could beat their face into the ground. They said, they would give me time to cool off, and next week they will be back to lay down and let me kick the dogsnot outta them. Anyone wanna make any wagers as to if they will show their face for this act? I am making a bet with myself and I'll let ya know who wins or looses. Life is too short.....way too short....Perhaps in time, I can come out with it all, but right now, I am in such shock.....wow!

It's Here....

2009-03-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

And I love it! Sara did an amazing job with my new blog, didn't she! That girl is quite talented if I say so myself. I got myspace and all that jazz figured out, but I guess I didn't take the time to try to figure out this whole blogging thing..good thing, I got Sara, my right hand woman, huh! So if any of you are looking for a new design, re-design, etc, she's the woman for the job! Yall go check her out, just scroll down and you will see her button on the right hand side. Oh, did I mention that the price is miniscule when you think of how much time she invests in one of these!! Thanks again, Sara, you rock!!

Get Ready...Combo Post

2009-03-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

You all get ready, Sara Bonds has created the most adorable new blog for me, and I am so excited that I can hardly stand it. It should be up in the next day or two...Any of you who want a new blog, go check her out, just click on her link on my new page, and shoot her an email and tell her what you want!!

Furthermore, I'm very happy right now, and have so many things to be thankful for, however, the one thing that I am not thankful for is the fact that (new cutie) is not gonna get to come home this week...I get to see him for like an hour on Tuesday, but I guess that's better than nothing, right? I'm merely surviving on phone calls and text messages, I feel like I'm 16 again, and that was so long ago, I barely remember those days! He works in the oil field, and well, who friggin knows when he'll be home again for sure?? To that, I say, EEIIIGGHHHH!! I admit I am kinda likin him and well, I'll just leave it at that and let your vivid imaginations run wild! I mean geez, who else would I allow to call me on Sunday at 2:00 am and 6:00 am and actually answer the phone without saying, "someone had better have died for you to be calling me at this hour!"
Wow, what we all strive for these days, lol!!

On another note, I got pampered last night and sipped a few margaritas with the girls. I am so in love with some of Beauti-Controls items that I am having another party, a mommy-daughter one this time! Their neck wrap that you put in the microwave for 2 minutes, its the bomb, it has taken away my soreness and stiffness and it's my new have to have daily ritual!

Until next time...I think I'm gonna get more post friendly since I have a new blog comin and it will give me more excuses to look at it...

Ride of my life....

2009-02-16T10:06:00.000-08:00

I met this guy and we've been talking for a couple weeks... he invited us up on Saturday, V-day to go muddin. As in we, Tay and I, that scared me a bit, cause I don't normally allow people the pleasure of meeting my hooligan that early on....but reluctantly, I thought do I give Tay a code word, for let's get the hell outta here or do I just play it cool? So I played it cool, and away we went...

We get there, and she plays the hide behind me game for the first 10 minutes or so...then she came out of her shell and the game was on.. We jump on the 4-wheelers and go across the street to a huge muddy field and I'll just say, it was a blast to say the least, we were covered from head to toe, soaking wet with mud, and everyone loved it. We went back to the house to clean up, because we were famished, and ended up at Cheddars. Yum, that place is my new love! After eating, he was talking about his Harley and Tay chimes in and says, I wanna go for a ride, I'm thinking, WTH? She won't even ride with our best friends that have a Harley, much less a complete stranger to her? Then he says, my bike is at my parents house, and I cringe, not only have I already met one of three brothers, I get to meet the parents too, yikes. So we go to his parents house, get the bike out, It's friggin sweet, might I add!! I thought as soon as she heard how loud it is, she would chicken out, hell no she didn't. He put the helmet on her, and away they went. I assured myself that she wouldn't make it past the stop sign, wrong, she made it all the way from Panama to Fort Smith, in the rain, I might add! I drove behind them all the way back, and I was wiggin out, I mean my heart was trying to come through my chest. It wasn't him I was worried about, it was all the other idiots on the road. We get back to the house, and he says, Tay, you rock girlfriend, you didn't complain or whine the whole time, and it started raining, was cold, and you rode over 30 miles, you can be my biker chick and ride my Harley anytime!! Needless to say, my heart finally calmed down, and I could breathe again. She loved it, and now thinks she is a *Rockstar*..

Then he and I took a five minute ride in the rain, and it was pretty awesome too! I think I might could be a biker chick....lol. So all in all, it was a great day, we all had fun!! I took a pic of Tay on the bike at the gas station, I wasn't about to try to take one driving down the road, I might have ran them over!!

Far Behind...

2009-02-13T18:50:00.001-08:00

Yes, my dear it tis an Old Candlebox song, one of my fave oldie but goodies!! However, it has nothing to do with this post. It is actually just to tell you all, that's how I feel right now in my blogging abilities....I have been sick, and I don't just mean, a cold...I mean a sinus/ear infection from hell...that held on for over 2 weeks...geez, and I have 2 whole feel good days, and then what do I get, the good ol gut wrenching hug the toilet kind of sickness!! I am sooo ready to have some feel good days again, that is not exactly my idea of any sensible way to lose weight!! So after tomorrow, I will have some news...gossip to share, lol. Stay tuned....

Taking Krissi's lead....

2009-02-02T12:49:00.000-08:00

Ok, so even though I feel like absolute dogsnot right now(I think my head may explode at anytime), I am going to post some funny, crazy and qwerky things about me. You all do the same, mmm, k!!

1. I am so with Krissi on this one. It is a must, the toilet paper must roll from the top down, not the BOTTOM. If I come to your house, and it's not right, I WILL FIX IT!! Even my daughter has this figured out at 7 years of age.

2. Like Krissi, I also have several fake teeth in my head! The entire top left half is fake. Granted it doesn't come out, but nonetheless, it's weird, k. Thanks to the numerous car accidents and going through windshields, I just couldn't have it any other way.

3. I absolutely cannot go a day without SWEET TEA! It's my love. I have given up cokes, my love was dr. pepper, but I have tried, and I assure you, you do not want to encounter me without my daily dose (more like a whole gallon)!!

4. I have never been married. Yes, I have an adorable daughter that I received as a true blessing, but starting to wonder if the whole marriage thing is for me??

5. I bought my own home last year, which I am very proud of!!

6. I have a moderate case of OCD, no I do not take medicine, but maybe I should. I am a clean freak, and most generally, my house is gonna be clean and perfect. My desk at work is very organized and mannerly, and it drives me INSANE that the other girls desk in my office is NOT!! Yikes, thank goodness, I sit with my back to it, or I might have a breakdown right there at work!

7. I'll go with a few of my favorite things right now. I am totally addicted to Ed Hardy perfume, love it! I wanted an Ed Hardy shirt, and this weekend when we were in Dallas shopping, we went into Neiman Marcus to buy one, $80 bucks, I shant think NOT!

8. I'm in shock at the fact that I am nearly 30 years old and just bought my first real authentic Coach Purse. Ok I admit, I bought Tay one too, and she's so in heaven. We're twinkies, yes they match!

9. Stupid people drive me nuts! Really, people with no common sense really shouldn't venture out of their homes, or especially come into my office at work! I lose my patience with them very fast!

10. Oh and this one especially! If you are coming to the Dr....please, please for the love of GOD, take a bath, a shower, wash in those unmentionable places!! There is nothing I hate worse than this!!

11. I usually speak my mind and have a really hard time biting my tongue, some days it's worse than others. LOL

12. I hate, hate, getting up early. I so value my sleep and have Tay trained in this.

13. I have a 2nd child, who is spoiled almost as much as the first, her name is Angel, our cat!!

14. I'm very independent and like to do my own thing. I do not like being controlled by anyone, especially a man. I'm a very spontaneous fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal.

15. I have had over 10 surgeries and been in a coma twice. I am a walking miracle!!

16. I love to play card games, like Rummy or Spaids, and I will kick your bootie if given the chance!!

17. I hate doing laundry, there is some piled in the floor as we speak that is just calling my name!

18. I am prone to sinus infections...and I hate them, have one right now, and praying that it will go away!! Have had 3 in the last 5-6 months!

19. Even though I am an only child, I have 1 half sister, 5 step-sisters and 1 step-brother. The only of which I claim is my half sister!! Now I know you all have family like that, right!!

20. I absolutely positively cannot stand for my feet to be touched! I mean by no one!! I think feet are ugly and gross! Ewww...

21. I love to cook, and am really good at it, but I hate, hate, hate to clean up the mess!

22. I'm really a southern country girl with good taste!! Grew up in BFE!!

Perhaps now you all know a little more about me! Your turn!!

Justed wanted to let you all know...

2009-02-02T12:37:00.000-08:00

that Tay had her check-up with her surgeon today and everything went really well. He was impressed that she was doing so well because the two masses that he took out were entertwined in 2 different nerves and being so, it made surgery alot harder and tedious then he had originally planned.

With that being said, the results of the pathology are this......Chocolate cake, lol, no but might as well be, because it came back as Benign Reactive Lymphoid Hyperplasia, which to all of you means that well, she had two lymph nodes that he took completely out because they were so enlarged and pressing on nerves thus causing pain. The rest means that they don't know why they were enlarged but whatever it is, is nothing to be worried about! So Praise God for that!! Again, thank you for your support and prayers! Love you guys!!

Maybe my wish came true...

2009-01-27T18:38:00.001-08:00

So yesterday I said something about wanting to hole up for a few days with the help of electricity in this ice overtaken state we're in....

Last night, I got the call from my boss, "We're closed tomorrow, don't come to work!!" I say, Yeah, a four day weekend, maybe I can get some stuff done!

So today, I was totally lazy, soaking up lots and lots of time online just in case the power went out, and when Tay fell asleep, I thought, I better get some cleaning done. Got the house swept and mopped(all hardwood and tile), it's quite a job!

Tonight at dinner, the phone rings, caller id gives it all away!! It's the boss again, "Ronda, We're closed again tomorrow!!" Woo HOO!! A five day weekend!! So tomorrow, Tay gets to take her dressing off and hopefully try to straighten out her leg completely. So I'm praying that she is able to go to school on Thursday, cause this little miracle isn't going to last the whole week, lol!!

So I'm very grateful for the ice considering, because it allowed me to stay home with Tay while she recovers and not get dinged for missing work. We have played rummy til I'm sick of rummy, (being a rummy lover, I didn't know that could happen). She's quite the little card player and has kicked my butt a few times the last few days! So far, so good, on the power staying on, just praying we make it through the night tonight, staying warm, and the uphill battle may have been won!! Hope you are all staying warm right now!!

Surgery Update

2009-01-26T13:37:00.000-08:00

Taylor had her surgery this morning, and everything went smooth for the most part. He removed the two masses which he now thinks are overly sized lymph nodes, but doesn't know why they were 2x their normal size. He completely removed both of them and sent them off to the pathologist and we will get the results when we go back to see him next week. He was afraid that they were masses growing off of the bone or the muscle, which wouldn't be good, but they weren't so....chocolate cake, remember!!

So we are home, and she's doing really good, better than I expected. No school for a few days, and with the ice coming, maybe we will get to hole up for a few days and relax(one can dream, right?) So again, thank you for all of the prayers, well wishes and thoughts. I hope this is all the start of a turn in the right direction for us!!

Thank You, Thank YOU!!

2009-01-25T13:32:00.001-08:00

I woke up this morning, feeling more than overwhelmed and very frustrated with life, because 1. Tay's surgery is tomorrow. 2. I'm very discouraged and feel almost hopeless at this point with all the negatives and misfortunes going on in my life that I feel is a losing battle every day... Nonetheless, we go to church, because that's where we our fed and it makes me feel better and Tay too. It is good for her and she loves it.

Last week, our pastor and so many people that I couldn't see them all prayed for Tay and it was amazing. So this morning, I know that I looked blank and numb because I was, and people came up and asked how Tay was doing, and what the outcomes are, and what is going on with her? Half of these people don't even really know us. And still they showed that they cared and several asked what time her surgery is tomorrow so that they can all be praying. All I could say was thank you, because inside I was dying and didn't see an end in sight and can't for the life of me figure out how to give it all to HIM, no matter how hard I may try. So many of you touched me this morning and I greatly appreciate it, no matter how much it looked as though no one was in there. Even my mom asked me, Are you ok? As she is waving her hands in front of my face and repeating herself and my usual response, I just nod my head, and say uh huh. Because this is hard to admit too, but I feel blank and numb and I have felt that I was losing a battle within myself and to those around me. Last week, when everyone was praying, a very kind soul said to me, God told me that he was going to send someone to me with a heavy heart, I looked at him, and said, He's right, it is very heavy and I'm trying, I'm trying. But....

During church, he(the kind soul) walks by and just pats me on the shoulder, just to remind me that someone out there understands or is thinking of me, and that means so much.

After church in my stupor, we go get a few things from Wally World and even though I have no money, I mean, like not enough to live on for the next week, I see someone who needs it way more than I, and this is not bragging at all, but this story has to be shared. So I give what I can, and say God Bless You! Tay and I pray for this man and go on our way, hoping that somehow I have made a difference. Also, at church, Victor preached on this exact topic, what we can do to help and do our part. AMAZING!!

So just an hour ago, I get the most amazing news, that I have received since before Nov 10, when I lost my job, etc, etc. I am getting a huge amount of money back on my taxes and when I say huge, I mean huge, like enough to pay off all my credit cards, pay off everything except my house and car, and still have money in the BANK!! As I sit here crying and thanking GOD, this just goes to show that there is light at the end of the tunnel!! When you have nothing left to give and you do it anyway, and less than an hour later, you are blessed with enough to live on for months, it's more than a BLESSING!! It's a MIRACLE!! So thank you, THANK YOU for all of you who have prayed and taken your time to pray for us! You will never know how much it means!!

Blobs of Chocolate Cake I say...

2009-01-21T11:42:00.000-08:00

As you all know, we have been seeing to many dr's to keep count lately. I so wasn't ready for the surgery thing, but they forced me to make a decision and I can't put it off any longer. Taylor is having surgery next Monday, the 26th, on her posterior right knee. They are going to do an ultrasound-guided biopsy/excision of the 2 masses in the back of her knee. So you my homies, I love you all like a fat kid loves cake, but we need some extra prayers right now, to know that everything will go well and most importantly, get good results, that these masses are NOTHING! NOTHING, I say, the biopsy results could come back with blobs of chocolate cake and that would suit me just fine! Really, I have to make light of everything going on in our life, or I will go nutso!

Update on Taylor

2009-01-15T14:30:00.000-08:00

Today Tay saw a general surgeon, we'll call him Doctor A, and he examined her and palpated her posterior knee, she does have obvious masses to the right and none on the left. He did say, "I zo nat dink it dis cancer." As I am dancing around going yeah, that's reassuring! Then WHAT is it?

That my dear, is da million dollar question. So we wait, he says, to see if they get bigger, smaller and do another ultrasound in 2 weeks to see their progress. He doesn't want to do an MRI because of her age, and doesn't want her exposed to any more "rays" than necessary.

So if they do get bigger or do not shrink, he wants to do a ultrasound guided biopsy. I shant think not. But we'll see. I'm speaking against that at this point, yall will join me in that parade, won't ya?

So Monday, she is going to Doctor B, and we'll just see what he says.....mmm, k??

I know, I know....

2009-01-14T15:15:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, I have been way lacking in my bloggy abilities lately. But for those who care, I have a new job that keeps me away from the house 12 hours a day, 4 days a week. That means, that the other 3 days, I have to do all the laundry, clean house, grocery shopping, run the kiddo around here, there and yonder, and it just doesn't leave time for much else. LOL So on the days that I do work, nothing, I mean nada, gets done, except for the necessities! And those barely get done, for crying out loud.

Guess I'll have to skip the whole Christmas post....and start fresh.

Satan has decided that he's trying to get uber friendly with me and my family, and frankly, I DON'T LIKE IT!! DO you hear me? I don't! And YOU will not win! Do I need to say it again? Cuz I will! The last few weeks, he has been atacking in more ways than one. I admit, I let it get me down and now I'm mad and fighting back.

The most important thing that is going on is with Taylor, my baby. Last week, she was complaining of pain to her posterior knee. I admit, I blew it off to leg cramps, growing pains, Charley horses, you know the drill. With a mom that's a nurse, if your breathing and not gushing blood from a major artery, all other things seem miniscule.

After her basketball game last week, she was complaining even more, so I decided to investigate further. Wow, did I feel bad? The back of her knee was swollen, hot and red. Classic signs of a blood clot. Yeah, way to go nursey mom! You totally screwed this one up. So I threw her in the car and away we go. Shall I even mention that our wonderful hospital did nothing? Yes, virtually nothing, might as well have kept her at home for all they did. Sent her home with ABX, and she'll be fine. Well, she wasn't fine then and she isn't fine now. I took her to her PCP on Monday, be it mother's intuition. Luckily her doctor did an ultrasound and labs. Wow, would you guess that there's 2 cysts(masses) growing in the back of her right knee. Trying not to panic, her dr. scheduled an appt with a surgeon. I want to take that ultrasound report and throw it in the ER doctor's face. HA, you fool!! There is something wrong, you idiot, we're not hypochrondiacs like everyone else you see.

Ok, so enough of that, we have an appt tomorrow and Monday, so please pray, wish, hope, whatever it is that you peeps do these days. I'm all for it, mmm, k! I just pray that my baby is ok, and that we do NOT have to go through anymore surgeries as she has already had 4 in 6 years. I'll try to do better in my bloggy world abilities and keep you all posted. Thanks again in advance for any prayers for my baby girl.

Back to Work...

2008-12-29T17:40:00.000-08:00

As I am back to work tomorrow, the posting shall eventually resume and I will eventually catch up....Hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and will have a blessed New Year to Come!!

Icicles Giggles

2008-12-29T17:36:00.000-08:00

So one day last week, last something, who knows, it has all ran together in it's mass chaos, we had some ice and school was closed, yeah for Tay, not so much for me, lol. We had fun nonetheless and took a few pics to show...

Another Bump in the Road/A Day with the Giggles...

2008-12-29T17:15:00.001-08:00

I got a phone call from B, stating that his aunt had passed away. This all happened very suddenly, and the entire family was very shocked by this, especially B, as he had just seen her a few days before, laughing and acting silly. I didn't know what words to say or how to say them to make him feel better. And to make matters worse, the funeral that he was to be a pallbearer in was on his 35th birthday. Not to make for a great day, eh? Needless to say the day got worse then better, and I tried my dangest to make up for it. When all this had happened, I offered to help with the kids to make life easier on the family because frankly, I didn't know what else to do. So here are some crazy pics from the day with me and the girls(B's nieces)....that I have come to love....We all had a blast and I hated to see them go...no pics of Tay noted, as she was at her daddy's. Aren't they all just the cutest??

Thrill Hill, Part 2

2008-12-29T17:08:00.000-08:00

For those of you that know, my love life has taken a drastic turn lately, and much to my avail, who knows what will come of all that!! After much talking, and me trying to sort things out in my head, this is the only thing that I can come up with....Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus....and here's the perfect picture that explains that....still laughing...I've decided it's all a game, and no matter how well I don't like to play them, one eventually ends up putting some cards in...whether we win or lose is still up for debate...but here's a sidenote for ya, "Don't play games with a girl who can play em' better!!"

All joking aside, we're talking and being civil, lol. For now, huh?

(I decided not to post the pic, he may try to kill me, huh?) Maybe later....

Thrill Hill, Part 1

2008-12-29T16:49:00.000-08:00

So life has been one hell of a roller coaster ride since my last post. I haven't exactly felt bloggy friendly here lately, so sue me, mmm, k!! So here we go...off the first hill....

Our church does the yearly production of Polar Express at CMA, and while this is an awesome experience and truly a joy to everyone involved and everyone who comes to watch, it is very, well, draining to say the least. We had four showings, throughout the weekend, and for anyone who doesn't know, it takes at least 100 people or more to pull this shin~dig off!! This was however, the last year of Polar Express as they are working on something new for 2009!

Taylor did have a part in this, she was in the King's Entourage, pics to follow. Of course, she ate it up and loved every minute of it, til she finally fell over Sunday night with exhaustion, as everyone else did too!!

Tay's Second Grade Choir Musical

2008-12-15T16:19:00.001-08:00

Taylor is in the Second Grade Choir and she is very proud of this. Last Thursday was her musical, and as almost all the pictures turned out really dark, this is the only one that really turned out good. They all did a really good job and sang their little heart's out!! It was a packed house!

Wordless Wednesday (2 hours early)

2008-12-09T20:19:00.001-08:00

Jingle All The Way

2008-12-09T20:12:00.000-08:00

Last night was the Second Grade Musical, and as much as the following pictures look less than angelic, they are anything but. Taylor was the GPS module and here are some pics. She also has her Second Grade Choir Musical on Thursday, as I will surely post some more pics. Now that I think of it, I get the "bad momma" award this week. I have taken no pics of Gymnastics, nor basketball, what is wrong with me??

"The Mac Kids Christmas Party"

2008-12-09T18:53:00.000-08:00

The McPherson's put on an annual Christmas party for the kiddos. This was the kiddos party and our first year, we truly enjoyed it! Not only did we have alot of fun, but I got alot of neat Christmas ideas for next year! The kids ate cookies, snacks, and Daddy Mac made some awesome punch for everyone! The kids sang karaoke, did the limbo, some line dancing, and lastly played "dirty santa" with hats/tobaggans!! Tay was very impressed that no one stole her hat!

Seek First....

2008-12-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

Some of you are aware of the utter dissarray that my life has been in for the last month. I feel as though I have been on a roller coaster, ups and downs, blessings, Satan attacking, and personally I am fed up with him! I just want to thank everyone who has called, texted, emailed, and showed concern, your support truly means alot, and I cannot say thank you enough for the way you all have tried to cheer me up and boost my confidence.

And Krissi, she posted a blog for prayers for us, and just knowing that there are people out there praying for us that don't even know us, as well as those who do, is very so thoughtful, touching, brings tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.

I still feel slightly numb from the intensity of it all, but it too shall pass. I just pray that I can sleep tonight, as that has been when I lie awake and dwell, toss and turn and get five minutes here and there only to wake up every hour or less.

This particular passage from Matthew, chapter 6, has been my saving grace through all of this...read to me by Amy Brewer at the midst of all the chaos...

...Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, or what you will wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And last but not least....But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I am progressing, because I am not as tearful as I was, lol, or is it because there's nothing left to cry. I'm going with the progress!

Wild Imaginations

2008-12-04T07:43:00.001-08:00

Thanks to Krissi and Caleb's blue house story, it reminded me of this more than hilarious moment of Tay's past!

When she was about 3, she had the most wild and vivid imagination, actually she drove me nuts with it, but psychologists say that kids with these kinds of imagination will be super smart. Ok, I'm down with that, so let her rip, right? Wrong, I believe that DHS almost got called on this day...

One particular winter day in Goody's, I was Christmas shopping and they have those racks in the kid section with pillows, blankets, etc. on them. I was on the other side of the rack from Tay, looking at clothes, etc., but, I could hear her talking and babbling like she always did, so I thought nothing of it, till we went to leave that section. I walked around the rack and she had made the most extravagant fence and housing out of everything on this rack. My mouth dropped open and immediately I told her that we had to get it cleaned up and put back like it was! Her response was, but mom, this is my benny pig house. (Benny pigs are really guinea pigs, but she's 3, and they have them at her daycare, so she calls them her benny pigs).

Me: Taylor hunny, we have to pick this up.

Tay: Ok, but just let me get all my benny pigs out first.

Me: Ok, but let's hurry!

Tay: Ok, mom, I think I got them all.

Me: Good, then let's put you back in the buggy and let's go before we draw even more attention to ourselves.

Tay: (As I am pushing her away in the buggy) screams at the top of her lungs, MOMMA, you forgot one, you have to go back and get him!!

Me: Ok, where is he?

Tay: He's over there hiding by the rack.

Me: (I walk over to where I think he is and attempt to get him), and attempt to scoop up this imaginary benny pig in my arms.

Tay: (Holds out her hands to get him from me, and says, Oh Momma, thank goodness you got him, we almost left him here without his family!)

Me: Thank god that's over, as I am pushing the buggy away and look to my left, and what do you know, there stands the manager ever so intently watching us, I just about died right there, but all I could stammer out, was, "You know, kids with wild imaginations are super smart, right?" He looked at me, like, Yeah right, lady, you have lost your damn mind and your kid too!!

Needless to say, we hightailed it out of there!!

And the other story that is ever so crazy....we have friends with a son named Zion, and Tay always liked him because his knickname was "Handsome", and it fit! Well, she informed me one day that Zion lived under my bed, so on a daily basis we would have to check on him, take him food and water, etc. She would talk to him like he was sitting right there next to her. Thank God she was only 3, or I might have had her committed!!

Oh, the things our children make us endure! I try to tell myself everyday that IT IS worth it, right??

Heartwarming and Tearful

2008-12-03T19:33:00.000-08:00

I admit that I watch more tv in the winter than the normal person should, but when I saw the advertisements for the new show, "The Secret Millionaire"...I was a bit skeptical! But after watching its premiere tonight, I absolutely fell in love with it! We need more of these kind of reality shows that help people who are far less fortunate than any of us. I just love Extreme Makeover and cry like a baby sometimes because it's so heartwarming! Well, tonight, I cried like a baby, because Greg & Cole (millionaires from CA) gave a family whose young daughter has bone cancer $50 grand! They don't have insurance and are on the verge of losing their jobs, house, everything! I totally think we should all do our part to pay it forward, and even more so if you are blooming with millions! It's a wonderful feeling to give or help others and this is an incredible way to help others that are truly deserving! You should all watch it at least once if you didn't tonight...

Misc rantings....

2008-12-02T06:43:00.000-08:00

So, to my previous blog about huntin, he got a deer on Sunday, his dogs ran it right through the yard, talk about not having to work for it! And I reaped the benefits, lol! Thank you, Lord, perhaps now I will survive. If I can only make it another week??

Yesterday I went and saw several friends/family around the community and took them Christmas cards and tins with samplings of all the homemade Christmas candy that Tay and I made on Sunday. They just loved it. And frankly, I was ready to see it go, as in 24 hours, more than 5# was added to my backside from just looking at it! Ok, ok....I did some sampling for myself, too! You caught me!! But how can one resist, it's good stuff!

Today I will be wrapping all the presents and putting them under the tree, if the cat doesn't kill the tree first or me kill her first. She has already broke a limb off of it! If she wasn't worth her weight in gold, said Angel cat would have found a new home elsewhere. When I mentioned this to Brian, he said, but it's her first Christmas, you can't punish her! The hell I can't, it was you making my life miserable, now its the friggin cat!! Any suggestions or ideas to keep the cat outta the dang tree??

So, yes, I think I am ready to go back to work, but then again, maybe not, I'm enjoying being ahead and on top of things right now.....as this changes every 5 minutes!!

Here's the latest pic to my album....talk about eating it up, Tay is in love with Santa, my, my, how her heart will ache when she finds out the devastating truth. When we were in Texarkana last week, she sat on his lap for at least 10 minutes just talking it up with him. I refused to buy the $25 pictures because she is 7, and well, frankly, she looks 10, and I get a few not so nice looks every time I let her go through this charade! So we are at Wally World on Sunday, and guess who is there? Yup, you guessed it, Santa, so she just had to go and sit in his lap once more, and every time she adds something to the list. Does this kid not know that I(Santa) is jobless and the shopping is done, and she is getting nothing else!! Please, someone explain this to her, as she is NOT getting it!! Oh, and the best part...after she got her pic taken and we were walking away, she said, momma, did you hear what Santa said, He said, "I look cute, yep, I'm cute cause Santa said!"

Oh BTW, who cares if the Campbells and Goldfish Ads are on the pic, it was FREE!! And these days, I'm all about that!!

For the love of God....

2008-11-29T21:31:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows that it's deer season and thank goodness it is almost over! I am forbidden to say anything about my hunny's huntin! But man, is it hard? And what makes it worse, is a month ago, he popped off and said, oh, I can goof off and kill more than Jared or dad, and don't worry, I'll fill your freezer full!! My, how the tides have turned! He certifiably jinxed hisself is what he did, he killed a doe with his bow, got nothing with his muzzleloader and still nothing during rifle season. However, the other night, he did bring home some roadkill, lol! Don't ask! Ask me how I know all this, because it is making my life miserable, that's why!! Season ends tomorrow in Zone 11, blah, blah, and next Sunday in Zone such and such!! So basically he told me tonight that if I could put up with it another week, I would have him back, lol. Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. He says that not killing anything doesn't bother him, and I told him that he was going to hell for lying! So he finally admitted it, and I told him that whether or not he knew it, he was grumpy and bitter, and I was ready to have my sweetness back.

Then he informs me that the month of April is turkey season and well, if I thought he was MIA during November, I haven't seen anything yet! Oh boy, I can't wait! At least theres almost 6 months between them. This huntin season crap is like mens very own PMS month...and they say we get grumpy, doubt it!

So yall, please pray for my sanity and let that man kill something tomorrow, whether it have horns or not! Otherwise I may inevitably go stark raving mad!

Oh and BTW, just in case anyone else is reading this, in my defense, I don't mind the huntin, it's the not killing anything that makes my life miserable, because it makes him miserable whether he admits it or NOT!! Anyone else have these issues at home?

Black Friday Madness

2008-11-28T09:49:00.000-08:00

So against my better judgement I decided to go and show my face at this madness they call Black Friday. Now I know exactly why it's called Black Friday, Raving Lunatic Day would be more like it. OMG, I have never seen so many people packed into Wally World ever in my life. I mean, if the place was to blow, the entire populus of Polk County was there..Bye, Bye World!

Anyways, so this year, unlike other years, they let people in the doors, they just had everything black taped and I do mean, black taped, garbage bagged up, not even a toddler with a pair of scissors could get in there! People were lined up next to their most prized item of choice and then would attempt to get to the next item of choice, well, that was merely IMPOSSIBLE. They even had a countdown at 5 am..so people could start ripping and tearing the bagged items. I had more than my fair share of getting the buggy rammed in my ankles, feet, back, butt and frankly it was more than enough for me. Hell, you couldn't see peoples feet, or anything else for that matter. It looked like WWII went off in there, only with people. I tried to be polite and say excuse me, sorry, may I please get through, but by the end, it is totally a lost cause and you pray that no one is gonna take you out and attempt to end your life over something so stupid. But with me being 7 feet tall and bulletproof, I have yet to have that happen, not even today.

I spoke with someone who had been there since 2:30 am, I mean, really people, is anything out there worth getting up at 2 am and standing in line for 2 1/2 hours, I think not. Not in my book anyways. I was there at 5 am and don't think the chickens had even started crowing yet! However, I would like to mention that I was able to get everything that I wanted from the madness and I didn't get up at 2 am, heck I didn't even go to bed at all, but we aren't even gonna talk about that here, LOL. (I'll just say that it was totally worth it, you get the picture, right)?

So now I can say that all of my shopping is totally done, praise GOD! Now, in my raging insanity, I have 3 kids running around my feet since coming home from the said madness. I think I must have forgotten that I have had Zero hours of sleep when I agreed to watch the kids so my mom and sister could go shopping. Yikes, and to think I actually considered having another one in the future. Wow, what a dream!! NOT!!

Blessings from Above...

2008-11-27T08:14:00.000-08:00

Here I sit, in bloggy world while everything I have slaved for this morning in the kitchen may be on fire and black by now, lol! I am responsible for all of the pies, just to name a few, sweet potatoe pecan (yummy if I do say so myself) apple, pumpkin, chocolate turtle and last but not least peanut butter pie, oh yum!! Oh yeah, I also am making homemade yeast rolls, those big fluffy ones that melt in your mouth, yall just pray that I don't screw those up!!

And for those of you that know the details of my life and the shenanigans that it encompasses, yesterday was a very good day. I got approved for my unemployment and got another large cash flow that came in, so Thank You, Lord for those wonderful blessings, everything is going to be ok. It never ceases to amaze me how he follows through so well and I am well, so far from perfect. But I give Him all the glory.

Just wanted to wish you all a very blessed day with family and friends, and that we can truly open our eyes and our hearts and cherish all the wonderful gifts that we have received and give thanks to the One who has provided so much! Happy Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!

Chillin with my gnomies....

2008-11-23T09:29:00.001-08:00

I admit I haven't read the books yet, keyword yet, see end of blog. I have, however, seen all the previews and my addict friends go absolutely apeshit!! One of my addict friends invited me to go eat, drink, be merry and go see Twilight on it's Premiere Friday night, and that's exactly what we did.

Six of us went to eat at On the Border which is just across the street from the theater. Shall we say that we were obnoxious, drunken beligerent fools that made quite a scene at not only the restaurant but also the theater. I have to admit that it was fun, I truly needed it and would do it again. See all the pics to follow....This was Amanda's wonderful park job on the curb, before we started consuming!

So being that I saw the movie and it was interesting and intrigues me...I admit that on the way home, I stopped at B&N and bought 2 of the books....which I have already started reading. Heck, even Tay has become fascinated with them, and that indeedy is scaring me!!

And last but not least...priceless

Red Faced and Angry as Hell.....

2008-11-20T17:11:00.000-08:00

So now that you all now that I lost me job due to something ever so stupid. Today...I went up to my previous office the right way, asked to speak to said previous boss, and the secretary came back and said that I needed to contact human resources.. I looked at her and said, you tell her to come out and talk to me because HR will not return my calls. So eventually the previous boss came out and I asked her to fill out an employment verification form so that I can get my OK license. She refused and said that she can't. My response, can't or won't?? She said, they(being HR) told her that she can't do anything for me. I said, this paper isn't for my unemployment, me being shit~canned or anything to do with anything, other than the fact that I worked there and worked greater than 520 hours in the last 2 years. She still refused. I told her that she cannot keep me from getting another job! At this point, I am getting furious, (and I even took Tay with me as a character witness), so if needed she could tell the truth about what took place. So I told the boss that I would be back if HR didn't return my calls again, and she informed me not to bother, that I was never welcome there and she would call the police and have me escorted off the premises. I said, for what, asking questions?? Go ahead, call them, what can they do? She then said, if you don't leave now, I will call them and have you taken away! I couldn't help but laugh out loud and say, really, what exactly would they be hauling me off for, as I have done NOTHING wrong. My nursing license IS NOT in jeopardy, I did not steal anything from this company, etc. She's making such a scene, and I was getting madder by the minute, so I laughed some more, and said "THIS IS A JOKE" and walked out the door. If flames could have emploded from my body, this would have been the day for it.

So then, we come home and I asked Tay if she had any homework, she said no. I was looking through her papers from yesterday and their was homework papers in big bold letters that was never completed or turned in. I took it to her and said, what is this? She said, I didn't know about it. I said, it's your responsibility to know about it. You are 7 years old and in the 2nd grade. This is not KINDERGARTEN anymore! I was so mad that she lied to me last night about not having any homework. So I tell her to sit down and do the homework right now. She does so and brings it to me so I can check it. I checked it and one was wrong...she had put 65-5, was 50, I told her it was incorrect and to go fix it. She then started arguing with me about the validity of the question and that it was not wrong. I threatened to get the fly swatter and beat her with it if she did not go sit down and fix the problem. After she sits down, she informs me of this, Oh, Mom, BTW, I had to sit in class during the last recess and do my homework that I didn't turn in this morning. Really, I said, fuming by now!! Thats funny, I so remember asking you earlier when I picked you up from school about your day, and your responce was that you had a great day, no problems, no getting in trouble, and so on. My, my, how this so turned out to be a Xanax Martini day! And it's only 5:00!! So then, Brian walks in...and said, wow, your face is very red......Really, no way, I would have never guessed after the events that have taken place in the last hour. Needless to say, I was already in the process of having a cold one, yes, I certifiably fell off the rocker. I still feel like I could explode into a million tiny little pieces. So Amanda, if I make it in one piece tomorrow, I will no doubt drink myself into oblivion!! Ok, maybe not quite oblivion!!

Making use of my time

2008-11-17T11:13:00.000-08:00

Most of you do not know, but I actually lost my job a week ago today. My, my, how good I am at hiding things. Sorry guys, don't take it personal. I went through the normal range of emotions, from being in denial the first day, to weepy sad the next, then ANGER, yes, I admit I was very angry, and vowed that if I ever saw that crazy woman in a dark alley that I would not be responsible for my actions. However, a week has passed and I have decided to make the most of it.

For starters I have scrubbed, cleaned out closets and even painted. But that didn't make me feel very resourceful, heck I even went with Brian last week and set some propane tanks. That was his way of trying to get me outta the house so I don't get depressed. Because any of you that know me, know that I can't sit still for very long. LOL

So when Tay asked if we were going to church yesterday, my reply was, YES, HEAVENS YES!! Go get ready. I'm not one that blasts my faith on other people, but we do go to church, a very good one in fact, and I have wanted for some time to be more involved and get to know those people better. But time has been something that I haven't had much of, till recently. I feel that I have so fallen away from the *right path* if that makes sense to any of you. So yesterday we spent almost all day at church, and they made me feel so much better. Heck, a girl that I have known for years but haven't really seen much, came up to me, and said, Hunny, something is wrong, would you like to talk about it? I poured out my heart, boo-hooed and she offered to do anything to help with Tay and it was wow, what a relief. Imagine me, being very independent, stubborn and bull-headed enough as to not ever ask for help. So it was a real shocker to me when she said, whatever it takes, we'll get you through this. Heck, my family hasn't even said that! And her situation isn't just a whole lot better than mine. So kudos to her for being there for me!

Then our church has what is called "Lifegroups", where a few families get together and talk, study a topic, share tears, fears and just really get to know these other families. Tay and I went last night, where my newfound friend and her family were there also. It was great, just to share with other people and for them to expect nothing from you and give you a shoulder to cry on and not judge you. There are lots of kids, so they all run around and play and have a little lesson of their own. Another girl there also had the same experience as me last week and lost her job. It's scary to know that it's coming for alot of people. I offered to help with our upcoming Christmas play and whatever else they might need. Hopefully it will make me feel resourceful! But I feel better today knowing that I am going to get to know all of these people better and that they are right down the street if I need them. I'll be the first to admit that I need more of Jesus in my life and He will see that I am fulfilled in my life. Thank you Jesus for this opportunity to just dance with you!!

Fall Pics as Promised....

2008-11-10T07:20:00.000-08:00

Here are the fall pics that I promised. I love and adore them, however the pic of just me, I'm not sure whether I like it or not. I love the pic and the background but the look on my face is well, almost disturbing to say the least! Oh, and I did this brilliant thing of ordering all my pics online at Kodak Gallery and they are now officially on my sh*t list. They sent me one pic, yes one out of over 75 that I ordered. And in very small print at the bottom of the invoice it reads, (Your order may be shipped in multiple shipments). Oh boy, just what I wanted to hear, I may have to wait til tomorrow, or friggin next week to get the other 74!! Shouldn't there be a law against torment when you are paying good money for something?? To that I say, WTF??

Fall Pics

2008-10-26T15:52:00.001-07:00

Tay and I haven't had pics done since last summer, so today, Kyleen took some amazing fall outdoorsy pics of the two of us!! I absolutely am going to go crazy waiting for her to get them all ready this week. Is it just me, or is that not knowing how they are going to turn out (how good or bad they are) is just brutal having to wait a whole week?? Tay is in that 2nd grade teeth stage, and gosh those pics will be hidden forever if and when she ever realizes how bad her teeth looked at that age. Yes, I know that is a awful thing to say, however, some of you aren't there yet with your chitlins and their God awful permanent teeth that come in so awkwardly!! But until then, I will cherish those pics and moments of awkwardness forever!! Yes, yes, as soon as I lay my eyes on them, they will be published for all to see!!

From the Cockpit

2008-10-18T22:22:00.000-07:00

The Flying Lawnmower....yup, only in Arkansas

Taking Off....

Got my feet planted back on the ground, whew!!

The Big Ol Town of Mena, AR......

If you look towards the top left, that is Janssen Park, things look really neat from above....

Every year they have the beloved Wheels & Wings Fest in Mena, that is always around the time of the changing of colors rally with CMA. This weekend just happened to be it. A buddy of mine asked us if we wanted to go ride in a airplane as part of the show. Me, being totally nieve, said, sure, we'd love to!! Imagine my surprise that it cost $25 bucks a head, wow, thats highway robbery for a 20 minute ride from hell!! After the ride, I think they should have paid me the $100 bucks, even though I didn't pay for it. Now I will tell you why.......

I have been sick with the sinus/allergy gunk for over a month and it just will not go away. After numerous drug induced days and nights, I am really in a fog. Today, we were in a hurry and I didn't eat anything, and am on all sorts of medicine. I think not eating in the long run was probably better for everyone, including myself, as I had pictured loosing what I hadn't eaten in my purse!! Yes, indeedy this was my first plane ride, and most likely the last. I have been on numerous choppers which I love and somehow this ride didn't even compare!! The pilot was great, I don't think it was his doing, just merely the combination of not eating, the altitude with all the pressure already going on in my head and whatever else I can think of. I was told by my buddy that my face went through every shade of green. Thank goodness the pics are at the very beginning of the trip. The kids however, loved it, and Tay sat over there like she had done it time and time again. It didn't unnerve her at all, which I thought would surely happen. I have never been so happy to have my two feet back on the ground in all my life.

And last but not least as part of the show was flying objects. They had several, but my favorite was the flying lawnmower!! I wonder exactly how much grass he mows up there??

ESP??

2008-10-13T16:26:00.001-07:00

After dinner last night, Tay asked me what we were having tonight for dinner. I told her left overs, because there was plenty. She looked at me, and said, You may be, but I'm not. I'm going to Nana's. I said, really, and how exactly do you plan on getting there? She said, I don't know, I'll find a way! I explained that she wasn't going to Nana's, and that she would indeed be having leftovers. My, my, what a twist and turn of events.

This morning, my mom called, and asked what time Tay eats lunch, because she was going to be in town and wanted to have lunch with her. I told her the time and to be quite prepared because Tay would convince her to stay in town long enough to pick her up from school and thus her said story would come true. My mom laughed and said, ahh, I'm not going to be in town that long.

As I go on with my day, Mom called again, and said your suspicions were right, but didn't mention anything about taking her home, and said she would meet me at the house at 3:30 to give the cat her shots. I met her here and she said, Well, I am going to get Tay now. I said, what?? She said, yeah, I am taking her home. I said, you can't, then she's gonna think the world literally evolves around her. I was flabbergasted. Tay did not call my mom last night or today, unless she snuck in the bathroom and did it. So I'm convinced that Tay and Nana have a secret code or is it indeed ESP?

Ignorant as Piss

2008-10-13T16:17:00.000-07:00

So again today I am traveling down Hwy 88, I have decided that this place is surely gonna be the death of me. And what do you know, but such intelligent electricians are changing the power over from the old poles to the new improved poles. Being the very smart men that they are, they decide to stop right over the edge of a hill in the middle of the road, mind you, where I am behind them but anyone else who flys over the top of the hill is not going to see them or me, until its way too late. So as I am sitting there with my window rolled down (Words cannot describe what I am thinking right now) with my flashers on waiting for the piss ignorant morons to move their ginormous truck outta the way so I can go around, (traffic is whizzing by me in the oncoming lane), thus I can't go around. Yup, I see it, a big hay truck hauling bootie coming over the hill, I punched it and zoomed around said idiot truck, so that my bootie didnt get squashed in between idiot electrical truck and big hay truck!! When I did, all those guys looked at me, like ahh, the nerve of her!! Nerve of me?? Sorry, no time for pictures, I didn't quite feel like dying today.

Recent Food Poisioning??

2008-10-07T20:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, so theres this friend of mine who was trying to be nice for my birthday and took me to dinner on Saturday at (unmentioned restaurant), however, its Mena, so it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out, ie, it was a steakhouse, and Sissy used to work there and hated the absolute bitch that was her boss. So we both had steak, baked potatoes, salad, the works, ya know. So then on Sunday, I have this horrible stomachache and headache, and pass it off as just a fluke. Wrong, Monday morning, death was on the doorsteps waiting for me to join, as the nausea, vomiting and that awful "d" word consume my entire day. Oh, and the stomach cramps that went along with it, were enough to make you turn on your best friend, and your child!! So what do I do, I call my buddy up, and ask are you sick? He says, yeah, are you? We both say, WTF?? So being that they were closed Sunday and Monday...I told him that he ought to go up there and demand his money back!! The hell if we ever eat there again!!!

Karma??

2008-09-30T16:56:00.000-07:00

So today I'm cruizing along Hwy 88 E, if any of you truly know where this is, on the way home from a patient's house. He is truly the only reason I was on this particular highway anyways!! They have been resurfacing this road, so there is tiny pea gravel everywhere, and until today I had managed to avoid a major run in with the other idiots and morons that also travel this pea graveled disaster at 60 + mph. I am the moron going 25 mph like the sign says to avoid major damage to anyone elses BRAND NEW CAR!! Well, you guessed it, a particular moron hits the pea gravel doing well over 60 mph and uh huh, yep, pea gravel all over my car and my windshield. Now I couldn't be so lucky to get away without harm, right....WRONG!! This idiot busted the heck out of my windshield, and there are also a kajillion little rock chips all over the driver's side. Now pissed is not quite the word, I think I might possibly have used profanity that I didn't know existed until today. And whats worse, I know the moron that did this to me, so what do I do?? I call him up and leave a very nice little condescending message on his answering machine! And imagine to my surprise he hasn't called me back yet, and I don't figure that he will, being that I dated his son and the two of us, well aren't exactly on speaking terms. Oh wait, or is that just me? Either way, I'm screwed.

So I am in the parking lot at work, explaining to my co~worker what happened and waving and pointing frantically, when I see this vehicle pull up next to us, (thinking to myself, who the blank is that and what do they want)....then I see that it's Krissi and Caleb!!! Poor Caleb, he really isn't the little heathern that Krissi makes him out to be, but after hearing all the wonderful verbage come forth from my mouth, he very well might turn into one. Even though Krissi and I haven't seen each other in years, like at least 7-8, heck, maybe even 10, I admire her rantings on myspace and blogger! So today was the first official time that I got to lay eyes on Caleb!! He is quite the talker and very handsome, I might add!

So whatever I did to deserve this last week, last year, or quite possibly a lifetime ago, I'm really sorry to the Karma King and Queen, so can we eliminate these mishaps that seem to happen to me more often than not? Pretty Please??

I can do this, much to my disbelief....

2008-09-29T17:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here it is. I finally did it, with Tay in the background rattling on as usual, I managed to somehow create this blog. So to all of you who encouraged this, it tis you that I will blame when this whole blogging thing consumes my entire life, ie; I get fired from my job, and relinquish all mommy duties to keep up with it. I assume it can only be compared to when everyone goes through the myspace addiction at some point, and then it eventually becomes not so hot in your eyes anymore. I'm guessing this will eventually replace or assume the role of the new *addiction*, when and if I totally figure this friggin thing out!!