Just When I Thought....

I had been through it all....I meet another crazy psycho boy and I mean that literally. I promise that I can't possibly make this crap up! So listen to this...

Start talking to this guy online on Friday. He wants me to come meet him on Friday night, I don't even think so! So I was in Little Rock on Saturday and stayed over at a friend's house and agreed to have breakfast with him on Sunday. Bad, Very Bad Idea!!

Bad first impressions are usually just that, BAD! But I am trying to be nice and give this guy a chance. We go to the mall and he's texting me while I am in the dressing room telling me how beautiful I am, and that he hated shopping with his ex-wife but he's already doing it with me. I looked out the top of the dressing room, and what is he doing, but blowing me kisses!! You've got to be kidding me! Within a few hours, I'm ready to go get Tay and head for the hills!

On my way home from breakfast with the psycho, these are the texts I am getting...

~Are you dead set on living in Mena forever? Cause ya know its really hard to work on a relationship from 3 hours away? (Relationship, please tell me that I missed something somewhere or got hit in the head and this is all a dream)...

~You are everything I am looking for in a woman. You have all the qualities I want and more.
(Thanks, I already know all of this)...

~When do you want to meet my daughter? (Dude, your not ever meeting mine, so good luck with that)...

~When I first saw you, I thought I must be dreamin...(Yes, you were, so let me wake up, please)

~I care about you like any one human man would for a young beautiful woman like you are. Yes, Maybe a little more that I should, but that's just me. (You have known me for a total of 6 hours, how can you possibly CARE for me?)

~Would you like me to come there one weekend? (Not no, but hell no, and I plan on moving before you can ever find me!!)

~Does it bother you that I text and call alot? (Yes, it really does, so would you please just go away already)..

~I really hope things grow with us...(Yeah, you can keep that love fern, I hope it dies)...

~I would be around as long as you would let me...(Hmm, well, that's not very long, now is it?)

~I have been talking about you! (Oh boy, this just thrills my soul)...

~So how do you want to proceed? (With caution, red flags on going off like ticking time bombs around here)...

I kid you not, no goodbye kiss, nothing and these are the texts I received after leaving Little Rock. When I got home, he had emailed me a "love poem" telling us how we were to be together. All I could say, was Holy Shit Batman...your not serious, right?

I wrote him a novel back telling him how I was not needy, clingy or desperate for any man or any relationship. Long story short, after 2 days, he still didn't get the hint. So tonight, he Im's, and I tell him to delete my number and to forget that he ever met me!! Think it will work!! Keep your fingers crossed, cause I am!

Do any of you know where I can get some special cleanser to remove the "idiot/psycho/jerk magnet from my forehead?"

Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus...

Yup, you guys, it's official. I have officially given up trying to read their minds, figure them out, or even give a damn. In the last week, the different encounters, conversations, texts, etc with the men in my life absolutely blow me away. I can't even begin to fathom or much less understand. Anyone wanna jump out on a ledge here and help a woman out?

First there's Bob, we'll call him that at least. Bob's situation is possibly the most intriguing of all. I will never ever understand him. I really like him and I really should hate him, that's my stupid pathetic idiotic problem. He's the one that makes my eyes light up when I see him and will run over someone to answer the phone when he calls. But Bob is stupid and needs to make some decisions about his life. Ok, so maybe he did, and they pissed me off, so that's the reason for this lil bloggy today. I'm the one that needs to make some decisions here, and I tried, I really tried, when he called the last time, to tell him, Good-bye, See Ya Never Again...but I couldn't do it, just couldn't do it. So sue me!

Then there's Texas, well, thats what we'll call him today. He's the old stand-by that is always there for me, listens to my whining, my rambling, and gives into my requests, whatever they may be. His situation is different because, well, he doesn't know what he wants in life, and he's well a tad bit different. Not different, like you and me different, he's special, special ed, alright! I've decided that he must really love me to put up with my crap, but I gave up on him long ago because he just doesn't know what he wants. He's just truly my friend that everyone says I will end up with. And that my dear is where I have a problem, because there's a few things that we heavily disagree on!

Then there's Courtesy Flush...my, oh my..what a name. Ok, ok, that's what I named him cause that's what I did, ker-plunk! He's a nice guy or so I think, and seems really interested at times, and other times, seems very uninterested. Hot and Cold shall we say. Last week, I sent him a courtesy flush, and told him that I wanted to get to know him, but that he wasn't allowing it. Blah, blah. Haven't heard a word since the ker-plunk. So today, what happens? I'm sleeping...soundly and I hear this..."I've got 2 guns and one for each of ya" which is code for my text message going off. I raise up and think "who the hell is texting me at 8:30 am on my day off? Oh, it's you, joy, oh boy. To no avail, no plans have been set. Imagine that. EEIIGGHHH! We've been on one date and I haven't decided whether it was one date too many or one date too few...

Then there's B...he calls and texts, drunk dials me, and I'm so stupid that I answer, cause well, yes, I sleep with my phone on my nightstand, cause you never know who's calling and what they want. Refer back to "Bob"..But will he ever get up the nerve to ask me out on an actual date. Say it ain't so, cause it ain't happening! We've never went out, just talk and text...must be a man's fave thing to do..HA!

Ok, so is that enough weirdness for one day? I could sooo go on...but I won't continue to bore you with my jacked up jungle of a life! Advice? Ok, take it easy on me, will ya?

I win...

So about this wager...I win, I win, Yay, I win.

So I'm sitting at my desk this morning, totally dazed and confused...the phone rings, guess who? Yup, that person that I thought was out of my life forever, the same one whom I want to beat the dogsnot out of...and well, he showed up and I got my chance and I did it, and I lived to tell the tale. He took it like a man, and I put in more than few good punches. He now has bruises, as awful as it sounds, I don't feel bad about it, because he deserved every bit of it and more. I told him just what I thought of him...and it wasn't nice either. I've never done anything like that before. Some of you know the real story of why, and I'll leave it at that. I'm not exactly proud of this, but I was the victim here.

After I beat the dogsnot outta him, he broke down and told me all kinds of things and cried, I don't mean like teared up, I mean he cried. (Do you know how many men I have ever seen cry)(Not very many, cause their macho and it's not their thing, he's beyond macho, so to see this, was well, disturbing to say the least) Then I felt bad, because obviously he hasn't had a good life, and I actually believe that part of it. So no matter how much I hate him for what he did to me, I can't deny the absolute fun and laughs we have shared. After I had screamed at him and hit him for 2 hours....we had this conversation.....I know, yes, indeedy I have lost my friggin mind, and I don't need you to tell me that, k, this is my blog, my life, if you don't like it, click the big red X at the top. I assure you it won't bother me at all.

Me: "I know what you need, you need a friend."

Him: "Yes, I do, but I don't deserve you as a friend, after what I have done. "

Me: "No, you really don't, but I am going to step out on a limb here and be your friend because I think you need that more than anything."

Him: Tears falling....

Him: "You would be my friend, and let me talk to you about anything, and really be my friend and not hate me?"

Me: *BIG SIGH*, Yes, I will. Despite everything I know to be true, Yes, I will.

*Sighing* How do I get myself into these situations? Don't answer that!

My life is truly a jacked up jungle....

and that's putting it mildy.....I can't go into alot of detail, but words cannot describe the emotions and rage I am feeling right now towards someone who has lied to me in more ways than one can possibly describe. This would include life-altering lies and deceit, but underneath all the rage and hurt, I feel sad for them, that they have to live like that. There should be more to life than that, and now they know that there is...

I threatened to kick their ass and told them to come to my house right now, so I could beat their face into the ground. They said, they would give me time to cool off, and next week they will be back to lay down and let me kick the dogsnot outta them. Anyone wanna make any wagers as to if they will show their face for this act? I am making a bet with myself and I'll let ya know who wins or looses. Life is too short.....way too short....Perhaps in time, I can come out with it all, but right now, I am in such shock.....wow!

It's Here....

And I love it! Sara did an amazing job with my new blog, didn't she! That girl is quite talented if I say so myself. I got myspace and all that jazz figured out, but I guess I didn't take the time to try to figure out this whole blogging thing..good thing, I got Sara, my right hand woman, huh! So if any of you are looking for a new design, re-design, etc, she's the woman for the job! Yall go check her out, just scroll down and you will see her button on the right hand side. Oh, did I mention that the price is miniscule when you think of how much time she invests in one of these!! Thanks again, Sara, you rock!!

Get Ready...Combo Post

You all get ready, Sara Bonds has created the most adorable new blog for me, and I am so excited that I can hardly stand it. It should be up in the next day or two...Any of you who want a new blog, go check her out, just click on her link on my new page, and shoot her an email and tell her what you want!!

Furthermore, I'm very happy right now, and have so many things to be thankful for, however, the one thing that I am not thankful for is the fact that (new cutie) is not gonna get to come home this week...I get to see him for like an hour on Tuesday, but I guess that's better than nothing, right? I'm merely surviving on phone calls and text messages, I feel like I'm 16 again, and that was so long ago, I barely remember those days! He works in the oil field, and well, who friggin knows when he'll be home again for sure?? To that, I say, EEIIIGGHHHH!! I admit I am kinda likin him and well, I'll just leave it at that and let your vivid imaginations run wild! I mean geez, who else would I allow to call me on Sunday at 2:00 am and 6:00 am and actually answer the phone without saying, "someone had better have died for you to be calling me at this hour!"
Wow, what we all strive for these days, lol!!

On another note, I got pampered last night and sipped a few margaritas with the girls. I am so in love with some of Beauti-Controls items that I am having another party, a mommy-daughter one this time! Their neck wrap that you put in the microwave for 2 minutes, its the bomb, it has taken away my soreness and stiffness and it's my new have to have daily ritual!

Until next time...I think I'm gonna get more post friendly since I have a new blog comin and it will give me more excuses to look at it...