Monday, November 17, 2008

Making use of my time

Most of you do not know, but I actually lost my job a week ago today. My, my, how good I am at hiding things. Sorry guys, don't take it personal. I went through the normal range of emotions, from being in denial the first day, to weepy sad the next, then ANGER, yes, I admit I was very angry, and vowed that if I ever saw that crazy woman in a dark alley that I would not be responsible for my actions. However, a week has passed and I have decided to make the most of it.

For starters I have scrubbed, cleaned out closets and even painted. But that didn't make me feel very resourceful, heck I even went with Brian last week and set some propane tanks. That was his way of trying to get me outta the house so I don't get depressed. Because any of you that know me, know that I can't sit still for very long. LOL

So when Tay asked if we were going to church yesterday, my reply was, YES, HEAVENS YES!! Go get ready. I'm not one that blasts my faith on other people, but we do go to church, a very good one in fact, and I have wanted for some time to be more involved and get to know those people better. But time has been something that I haven't had much of, till recently. I feel that I have so fallen away from the *right path* if that makes sense to any of you. So yesterday we spent almost all day at church, and they made me feel so much better. Heck, a girl that I have known for years but haven't really seen much, came up to me, and said, Hunny, something is wrong, would you like to talk about it? I poured out my heart, boo-hooed and she offered to do anything to help with Tay and it was wow, what a relief. Imagine me, being very independent, stubborn and bull-headed enough as to not ever ask for help. So it was a real shocker to me when she said, whatever it takes, we'll get you through this. Heck, my family hasn't even said that! And her situation isn't just a whole lot better than mine. So kudos to her for being there for me!

Then our church has what is called "Lifegroups", where a few families get together and talk, study a topic, share tears, fears and just really get to know these other families. Tay and I went last night, where my newfound friend and her family were there also. It was great, just to share with other people and for them to expect nothing from you and give you a shoulder to cry on and not judge you. There are lots of kids, so they all run around and play and have a little lesson of their own. Another girl there also had the same experience as me last week and lost her job. It's scary to know that it's coming for alot of people. I offered to help with our upcoming Christmas play and whatever else they might need. Hopefully it will make me feel resourceful! But I feel better today knowing that I am going to get to know all of these people better and that they are right down the street if I need them. I'll be the first to admit that I need more of Jesus in my life and He will see that I am fulfilled in my life. Thank you Jesus for this opportunity to just dance with you!!


Sissy said...

Shit, Ronda! I didn't know you lost your job! I'm sorry! Do I need to start prank calling someone at all hours of the day and night for you? Cuz I will. Please call me anytime you need anything. I know I'm generally worthless as hell but I'll try.

Krissi said...

Wow you do hide things well, you stinker you!!

Sorry about all of the chaos in your life, but if there is anyone who knows I can safely say that you are doing a great job of putting it all in God's willing, and way more than capable hands!!

~aj~ said...

So sorry about your job. That is just horrible, but I know it is happening to a lot of people right now. Hope you are able to find something else soon!

On the other hand, it is wonderful that you have been so blessed by your church and the people there. I honestly don't think I'd make it through each day without God in my life and the people from our church. We are so, so fortunate to have such a good group.

And we just started lifegroups a couple of months ago and without trying to sound cheesy/corny, they have changed our lives. It's been the most amazing thing I've ever been a part of and I look forward to it all week long. I had no idea it could be such a blessing to be able to share all your joys, tears, fears with close friends like that.

Anyways, I'm so happy that you have that support Ronda. You're gonna be just fine!